Author Archives: Daily Inspiration by Natasha

Writer by heart, healing every day

Do you struggle to change your habits?

It takes 21 days to change a habit.

Most of us like to play victim in our own lives and not take accountability (and I’ve been there – im still there with some things) but the important thing is to know that we all have the power to change habits in our own lives.

The first step is to be aware of it, which becoming aware of our own shit sucks. There’s nothing easy about admitting to yourself that this is where you’ve been holding yourself back. Most people know where they’re holding themselves back but won’t choose to change it. Nobody can do the work for you, and coaches won’t work with you if you’re not willing to work on yourself. Why waste our time, if you’re not willing to put the effort into yourself so we can help you reach your goal?

Thats the other thing, the goal has to come from you. It takes the client having a want to make the change, and then the commitment to follow through. People get stuck on the amount of work its gonna take to get something done, but those things can be broken down to make reaching goals easier.

That’s where coaches come in. I kind of do this naturally, but I’ve done some schooling as well. Ive had to become my own coach in life, and with choosing to work through things, I’ve had to go up against my own shadows – things in myself – the subconscious reasons I’ve been holding myself back and didn’t know.

It’s not easy to face everything in yourself and choose to grow. Im depressed a lot of the time cause there is so much within myself to work on. However, if you have a clear direction of where you want to go (which I haven’t) it can be much easier.

21 days, and a conscious effort, is what is needed to make a change.

We think we need another person to push us along, and often blame others if they can’t make us do something, but they are just mirroring to us that we won’t make ourselves. And that sucks to see. People will do anything to not have to meet their real selves, and im speaking from experience here. Old me would rather keep up a persona of being helpless and needing another to do things for me. I wasnt willing to see my own strength and that I could do those things for myself. And that fed into my trauma, being stuck in a kid like mindset. I didnt see myself as an adult, and I attracted someone who treated me like he was my caregiver. I didnt believe I was worthy of embodying my own strength and thought I needed to be taken care of, reminded etc.

If you know me now, you know I hated that.

We can ALL push ourselves by embodying both the masculine and feminine energies within us. However, it is still helpful to have outside support.

Are you choosing to heal or stay stuck?

Shaming yourself for what you’ve been through, really isn’t the way to go. You have to give yourself compassion and understanding. You’ve been through a lot. Its okay to admit that to yourself and feel those feelings. Feeling is how we heal and release.

More than that, though, it’s important to be able to meet yourself where you’re at. If you want to be able to stand naked (figure of speech) in front of someone and them be able to accept you fully without judgment, you need to be willing to do that for yourself. Otherwise, you might have a hard time believing that person is being sincere and you may stay closed off.. its a fear of being voulnerable that a lot of us have, due to a fear of being rejected or being abandoned.

Even if they abandon us, though, we shouldn’t abandon ourselves. And think about it. Do you really want someone you can’t be your full self with? Someone that leaves when things get real? A lot of time, we trigger things in eachother. Like if someone has an issue with something you’re doing, they see that part of themselves in you, and they don’t like it.

Now do we face it and heal through it, or do we run and hide? I will be the first to say that running from what we feel doesn’t work. It doesnt solve the issue, its still gonna be there. It’ll just show up another way, through another person or situation. What we have to do, is consciously choose, to look directly at whatever the thing is that bothers us and what feelings it brings up, and accept them. Im scared because.. I’m angry because.. you have to talk to yourself just like a friend was talking to you. You have to give validation to those things you’re feeling. Why do you feel that way? Did something happen in your past? A lot of the time, it goes back to childhood or just mindsets that have been passed down the family line. Follow those feelings down and get to the root. That root needs so much love